Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[tincup]

Golf is just a game - and an idiotic game most of the time.
~ Mark Calcavecchia

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.
- Tommy Armour

[tincup]

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis

[Stan Nehilla]

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad or why you play good.
- George Archer

[tincup]

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

[Stan Nehilla]

Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain't no game.
- Burt Shotten

[tincup]

I was asked by a golfer how to lower his scores. I replied start playing 9 holes instead of 18. I worked for me, it cut my scores in half.
~ Brian Weis

[Stan Nehilla]

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
- George Deukmejian

[tincup]

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
~ Phyllis Diller

[Stan Nehilla]

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.
- Ben Hogan