Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Knockdown - Term for a shot that is hit with an abbreviated follow-through to produce a low-trajectory, slight fade, and plenty of spin. A knockdown shot usually doesn't travel as far as a normal shot. This shot is employed when control is paramount. (See also punch.')

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Knockoff - A club that is a clone or forgery of an original design. Knockoff clubs are attractive to golfers because they're so much less expensive than the clubs they imitate.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Knuckleball - A shot without spin that has an erratic flight. Some baseball pitchers find success with a knuckleball; golfers never do.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Kolven - A golf-like 17th-century Dutch game played on frozen canals with clubs and balls. A similar game called "chole" was being played in France in the 14th century, and there are other, even earlier traces of the sport. For example, in the modest tomb of King Puttankhamen I (1350 B.C.-1345 BC), a set of 14 bronze-shafted clubs were discovered, each one broken in two; and, in eastern Turkey, an ancient Babylonian clay tablet from about 4000 BC was unearthed that bears an astonishing resemblance to a scorecard, with the numbers 1 through 18 inscribed in a row and, next to them, scores (a few of them changed several times) that add up to 117 but are followed in the space for a total at the bottom of the column by the number 77.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Ladies' Days & Hours - Times set aside by a golf club during which the use of the course is exclusively reserved for women players, who are sometimes barred at other times. The number of women playing golf has increased dramatically in recent years, but as the institution of Ladies' Days and Hours indicates, their presence on courses is still objectionable to male players who take the game of golf very seriously and resent the sudden intrusion into their hallowed pastime of the lady golfer, whose insistence on actually hitting balls toward the holes interferes with the conduct of business deals, interrupts the recounting of lengthy comic narratives, and impedes the timely exchange of critical information on the recent performance of automobiles and the relative prospects of sports teams.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Ladies' Tees - Teeing areas placed somewhat closer to the greens to compensate for the fact that although women are as capable as men of playing first-rate golf, they do not, as a rule, hit the ball as far. Other allowances made for women golfers to permit them to hold their own during rounds with male players include giving them, along with their scorecards, a copy of The Wall Street Journal, a booklet of old jokes and a laminated card on which is printed key data on the recent performance of various cars and ball clubs.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Lag - A long putt played conservatively to make sure that the ball ends up near enough to the hole to be sunk with the next stroke. If this putt is missed, it is referred to as an "aaagh."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Large - Term of admiration for a well-hit drive. For example, "That is large! Anything flying that far should have a stewardess on it."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Launched - Term for a drive that takes off like a Tomahawk cruise missile. A launched ball is usually large and vice versa.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Lay the sod over it - Another term for hitting the ground behind the ball first. Theoretically, if you hit the ground firmly and far enough behind the ball, you may produce a divot that covers the undisturbed ball. (See also fat, hit it.}