Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Two long time golfers were standing overlooking the river getting ready to hit their shots. One golfer looked to the other and said, "Look at those idiots fishin' in the rain."

[Stan Nehilla]

Which is the easiest golf stroke?
The fourth putt!

[tincup]

Never play anyone for money who carries a 1-iron, has a tattoo, doesn't wear a glove, and can bounce a ball off the face of a sand wedge more than ten times in a row

[tincup]

Rule exceptions for seniors

Audible Interference with Swing

A player may replay his shot without assessing a stroke if at any time during his backswing or downswing, and prior to the moment when he strikes his ball, he shall hear a distracting sound or noise, including, but not limited to (a) a horn, siren, bell, gong, or chime, (b) a backfire, tire squeal, or engine whine, (c) a cheer, shout, groan, or whoop; (d) a bang, clap, crack, crash, slam, or snap; (e) a blast, rumble, or roar; (J) a thud, click, clunk, rattle, or clatter; (g) a bark, bellow, whinny, bleat, or howl; (h) a squawk, quack, cackle, cluck, chirp, honk, mew, or coo; (i) a cough, hiccup, fart, sniffle, snort, or sneeze; or (j) a giggle, chuckle, chortle, snicker, or guffaw.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf is great, why just yesterday I was only 2 strokes away from a hole-in-one.

[Stan Nehilla]

During a Pro Am, Arnold Palmer's partner asked, "Well Arnold, what do you think of my game?"
"It's OK," said Arnie, "but I prefer golf!"

[tincup]

I want you to know that this is not the game I usually play," snapped an irate golfer to his caddie.

"I should hope not, sir. But tell me," enquired the caddie, "what game do you usually play?"

[Stan Nehilla]

"Noticed any improvements in my game, caddie?"
"Shined your clubs?"

[tincup]

You can't go into a shop and buy a good game of golf.
~ Sam Snead

[tincup]

Golf Physics
Over time, any putter can reach a temperature of absolute zero.