Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Jungle - The thickest, deepest, nastiest rough on the course.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Junior - A golfer who attributes poor play to the fact that he or she lacks the experience of a mature player. (see Senior)

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Junk - Collective term for all golfing side bets. You can pick up junk from barkies, greenies, nasties, sandies, and, yes, even birdies.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Keeper - A successfully executed shot.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Keeping Score - In general, golfers assign a number exactly one higher than the previous one for each shot they play to arrive at the cumulative total of all the strokes required to complete a given hole. While it has the merit of simplicity, this system does tend to produce discouragingly high numbers, and players who perennially score in the 90s or higher might think about switching to an unconventional numbering system which, while still adhering strictly to the custom of counting each and every stroke, nevertheless provides a more acceptable result. Two excellent candidates are the arithmetic series -2,-1,0,1,2,3,4 etc. and 1,2,2,3,3,3,4,4,4,4 etc. Also worth considering are binary numbers, which, no matter how large, are always composed of zeros and ones, and Roman numerals, whose simple written form (the key golf numbers 4,5,6,7 and 8 are indicated by IV,V,VI,VII and VIII) permits alteration of the scorecard with the effortless erasure or addition of an "I" or two rather than the complex conversion of, say, a telltale Arabic "9" into a "5."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Kick - Literally, the way the ball bounces. Sometimes it kicks your way and sometimes it doesn't, but golfers are always asking for a good kick.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Kill - To hit the ball with great force. This was John Daly's "swing thought" during the 1991 PGA Championship at Crooked Stick. Before each shot his caddie, Jeff "Squeaky" Medlen, uttered one word: "Kill." Daly did.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Knee-knocker - A putt in the three-to-four-foot range that causes emotional and physical problems for the golfer. The term comes from the nervous trembling that accompanies these short putts. Every golfer experiences a knee-knocker at some time. (See also throw-up range and yips.}

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Knickers - Baggy trousers worn by golfers in the 1930s. They were called "plus fours" because they were cut off four inches below the knee, then tucked into long socks. Plus fours have disappeared from golf courses, and the only golfing apparel anything like them that exists today is a much more appealing form of attire, worn by women, known as "minus tens."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Knife - The one iron. The toughest club to hit. If you carry a 'knife in your bag, you're either a real player or a phony who wants to look like a real player. A few swings with the knife will reveal the true you. Lee Trevino advises golfers caught in a lightning storm to hold their one irons aloft because "even God can't hit a one iron."