Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Hanging - A lie where the ball is above the golfer's feet. Also what happens to a golfer caught using a hand mashie.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Happy feet - A nervous condition that afflicts golfers facing difficult shots. They just can't seem to get settled properly before taking their swing. A desirable trait to look for in potential betting opponents.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Hazard - A man-made obstacle on the course, either a bunker or a water hazard. It is against the rules for players to "ground" their clubs in a hazard, i.e., to allow the clubhead to touch the sand or water before making their shots. They may, however, bury their own head in their hands, strike their forehead with the base of their palms, shake their head vigorously from side to side (with or without their hand placed on their brow) and, if it does not delay the match, lightly and repeatedly tap their head against a tree.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Head - The end of the club that produces bollixes and mis-hits as opposed to the end of the club that produces calluses and blisters. See GRIP.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Hickory - Tough, resilient wood originally used for golf club shafts. The chromed steel tubing employed today has superior strength and durability, but old-time golfers insist that there is nothing more satisfying than the crisp snap of a hickory-shafted club being broken sharply across the knee or the delicate aroma of an entire set of clubs burning merrily in a fireplace.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Hit it in the head - To hit the top of the ball. (See also top.)

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Hog's back - A large mound used in the design of a golf green. (See also elephant burial ground.)

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Hole -

1. To hit the ball into the hole, as in "I holed my putt for a five."

2. The cup in the green into which the ball is hit, as in "Five" Try again, buster-you're in the hole in twelve."

3. One of 9 or 18 playing areas constituting a golf course, as in "On that hole I had a drive, two approach shots and two putts-that makes five."

4. A missing element or discrepancy in a narrative or a fault or flaw in logic or reasoning, as in "Your story is full of holes-what about those two lost balls, the stroke in the water hazard and the out-of-bounds shot?"

5. An aperture or opening, as in "You have a hole in your head-those were practice swings."

6. Indebtedness, as in "You lost, you weasel-you're in the hole to me for fifty bucks."

7. An embarrassing predicament or position, as in "Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not paying, so how do you like them apples? But you fork over fifty clams or you'll be in a real hole at work when I tell your' boss about how when you're supposed to be with your clients you're out on the golf course and your wife about that doxie you met on the putting green"

8. An excavation or cavity, as in "The body was found in a shallow hole in a sand trap by the thirteenth green."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Hole-in-One - An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Hollywood - Where you're at and what you are when everything is going just the way you want. Keep dreaming.