Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Fuzzy - Description for the condition of greens that haven't been mowed recently. Putting on fuzzy greens is more like putting in the fairway—slow! Also a nickname for PGA Tour golfer Frank Urban Zoeller.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Gallery - The spectators at a golf tournament. Golf fans enjoy a much higher degree of participation in their favourite sport than their counterparts seated in stadiums could ever dream of: they get almost as much exercise as the players themselves, they can wear the identical playing outfits without the slightest embarrassment, they stand at least as good a chance of being injured during the course of play as even the top golfer in the country does, and they can enter upon and do serious damage to the playing field before and during the contest as well as after it is over.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Game - A competitive round of golf, but also a particular golfer's style of play. Over time, golfers tend to progress through several basic kinds of "game": great drives, poor approach shots and lousy putting; awful drives, foul approach shots and superb putting; perfect drives, rotten approach shots and dreadful putting; and ping-pong, bowling and croquet.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Gas - What putts left on the amateur side of the hole run out of.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Get down - A message from golfer to ball asking it to cease flying—now! Usually heard after a ball is hit too far or offline; almost always uttered with great agitation.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Get Up - The opposite of get down, an exhortation used to urge a putt or shot to travel farther toward the hole. Also used by Golfer A to urge Golfer B to regain consciousness after Golfer A has hit Golfer B in the head with an errant iron shot.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Gimme - A conceded putt, shortened from the phrase "Give it to me." Gimmes are the centre of many golfing controversies, especially among the ranks of amateurs who are always looking for an opponent to concede a putt, even if their ball is off the green. See IN THE LEATHER.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Give, give - An agreement between a golfer and his opponent to give each other their next putt. Usually the result of two amateurs with a shared fear of the short game. (See also good, good.)

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Go to school - To learn about the speed and direction of a putt or chip by observing another putt or chip on the same or similar line is golfs version of going to school. Smart golfers also go to school on their own putts and chips and watch as they roll past the hole to get a look at any break that will effect the putt coming back.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Goat farm - A poorly maintained golf course. (See also dog track.)