Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Downtown - Where the ball goes when you absolutely launch one from the tee. Borrowed from the baseball term for where a home run ball goes.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Dress - Although clothes in a variety of styles are acceptable on a golf course, a few general pointers are worth keeping in mind when selecting an outfit:

It should be visible to an individual with normal eye sight looking out the window of a spacecraft in orbit.

It should be made out of a fabric derived from a substance that was mined or refined rather than grown or raised.

It should jam radar.

It should be composed of no fewer than eight separate colours or shades and should bear a minimum of four distinct emblems.

When scuffed, the shoes should require repainting or restuccoing rather than shining.

Any hat should be identifiable as such only by its position on the wearer's head.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Draino - Exclamation that follows the sinking of a putt, particularly a long putt.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Dribbler - A shot that travels only a few feet, usually without getting airborne.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Drive - The initial shot on each hole, made with a special wood, the driver, on par-4 and par-5 holes, and with shorter woods or irons on par-3 holes. Because the drive is so critical to the play of the hole, total concentration is essential, and thus, if the shot is spoiled because of some audible disturbance inadvertently caused by another player on the tee, such as a pair of shoelace tips clicking together or the wind whistling through an onlooker's eyelashes, it is customary to take the shot over. See - Mulligan

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Drive for show and putt for dough - "He who putts the best wins the most." This timeless golf cliche supports the contention of some PGA Tour critics who say the professional game amounts to little more than a weekly putting contest.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Driving Iron - The #1 iron, sometimes used for tee shots. Its chief virtue is that, unlike a wooden-headed driver, it puts a deep cut in the ball while driving it into the rough or out of bounds, thus ensuring that if the golfer who hit the ball cannot find it, no other player will get any use out of it.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Driving Range - A place where golfers go to get all the good out of their systems.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Drop kick - When the club strikes the ground and then bounces into the ball. (See also chilli dip, dub, ).

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Dropped cat, like a - Description of a ball with plenty of backspin that hits the green and hardly bounces.