Wit & Wisdom of Golf

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The most likely effect of a golf lesson is to instantly eliminate the one key flaw in your grip or stance that allowed you to somehow compensate for all the other faults in your swing

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Advice - According to the rules of golf, advice is "any counsel or suggestion made by one golfer to another about the choice of club, method of play or making of a shot, which contains no more than five errors of fact, contradictory statements or harmful recommendations. Six or more such pieces of misinformation or misinstruction shall constitute a formal golf lesson."

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Rule exceptions for seniors

Equitable Stroke Control in Bunkers

In order to ensure that an excessive number of faulty shots made in a bunker does not unfairly distort scores or unduly penalise flawed play in one small portion of the game, a player is required to throw his ball out of a sand trap, but not farther from the hole, once he has exhausted the full number of strokes allotted to him by his handicap for bunker play on any one hole, as specified by the formula in the table below:

Plus or Scratch No more than three strokes in any single bunker, and a total of no more than five around any one green

1-18 No more than two strokes in any single bunker, and a total of no more than three around any one green

19-36 No more than one stroke in any single bunker, and a total of no more than two around any one green

37-40 Remove all balls from any bunkers

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Afraid of the Dark - What a putt is when it won't go in the hole.

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When you play in a mixed foursome, there will always be at least one hole where you have to hit your second shot before the ladies tee off

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Age Players - Accomplished golfers who have recorded one of two equally unusual golfing achievements: playing a round of 18 holes at the end of which they had a score equal to their age, or playing a round of 18 holes during all of which they acted their age.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Airmail - To hit a shot much farther than planned (most commonly over the green). Amateur golfers frequently airmail approaches to greens fronted by hazards.

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Bill and Ralph were approaching the first tee. Ralph goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball." He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can't lose it."

Bill replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?" Ralph replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it."

Obviously, Bill doesn't believe him, but Ralph shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced. Bill says, "Wow! That's incredible! Where did you get that ball!"

Ralph replies, "I found it."

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The best thing about hybrids is that no one can tell that your 150-yard club used to be a wood, not an iron

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Albatross - Another name for a double eagle, a score of three under par on a hole. The most famous albatross in golf's history was recorded by Gene Sarazen on the fifteenth hole at Augusta National Golf Club during the 1935 Masters Tournament. A term generally not used by the amateur golfer.