Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Nobody ever coughs on your follow through.

[tincup]

Never ask the pro if you need a new set of clubs

[bryce]

"The more I practiced, the luckier I became."

-Nick Faldo on television coverage Thursday at Firestone CC

[Stan Nehilla]

Out-of-bounds fences are located a foot the wrong side of your ball.

[tincup]

A fool and his money make excellent golfing companions

[Stan Nehilla]

People who say a shank is close to a perfect shot have never had four in a row.

[tincup]

Rule exceptions for seniors

Removal of Deadwood

When a player's swing is obstructed by a twig or branch that gives every indication of being dead, he may break it off, but if upon being severed from its parent plant it turns out to have been alive all along, he must then immediately express chagrin and remorse, whereupon he may proceed with its removal in the interests of the continued health of the specimen.

[Stan Nehilla]

Shots that finish close to the pin are never as close when you get there.

[tincup]

Tickets for the British Open are hard to get and the touts have a field day. One keen spectator was offered a ticket for £50. "That's absurd," the enthusiast declared. "Why, I could get a woman for that!"

"True sir, but with this ticket you get eighteen holes!"

[tincup]

Maurie was not having a good day on the golf course. After he missed a twelve inch putt, his partner asked him what the problem was.

"It's the wife" said Maurie. "As you know, she's taken up golf, and since she's been playing, she's cut my sex down to once a week."

"Well you should think yourself lucky," said his partner. "She's cut some of us out altogether!"