Wit & Wisdom of Golf

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If you are playing well in a competition, your partner will tell you that if you keep it up you will win. This remark ensures that you finish with a string of double-bogeys.

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If you have a hole-in-one in a competition you are in the last group and the bar is packed when you come in.

[Stan Nehilla]

Fore!" is not an excuse.
"So what?" is not an apology, and
"Up yours" is not an explanation.

[Stan Nehilla]

The Latest Golf "How To's"

How to line up your fourth putt
How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titelist from the tee.
How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in the bunker.
How to get more distance off the shank.
How to use your shadow on the greens to maximize earnings.
How to handle crying over poor shots
How to rationalize a 7 hour round.
How to find that ball that everyone saw go in the water.
How to relax when you're hitting five off the tee.
When to suggest swing corrections to your opponent.

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Rule exceptions for seniors

Autonomous Concession

If a player misses an unconceded tap-in putt of four feet or less, he may retroactively give himself that putt, provided at least one of the following conditions has been met

1. He played out of turn following a fellow player's suggestion that he putt out

2. He adopted an awkward putting stance in an effort to avoid standing in the line of a fellow player's putt

3. He made the attempt while a fellow player's putt was rolling toward the hole.

4. Another playing group was waiting in the fairway to hit up to the green.

5. He putted last and all of his fellow players had already left the green.

6. He putted with a club other than the putter.

7. He really, really needed the putt

[Stan Nehilla]

18 Holes

Here's a slice of golf history you might enjoy.

Why do full-length golf courses have 18 holes, and not 20, 10 or an even dozen?

During a discussion among the membership board at St. Andrews Golf Club in 1858, one of the members pointed out that it takes exactly 18 holes to polish off a fifth of Scotch.

By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out...

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Keeping your head down means you'll be looking at a very large divot.

[Stan Nehilla]

If I ever reach a par 5 in two, they change it to a par 4.
-Fred Funk-

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No successive swings are ever the same except when you hit consecutive shots out of bounds.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golfers just love punishment. And that's where I come in.
-Peter Dye, Golf Course Architect-