Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[tincup]

Golf is the only game I know of that actually becomes harder the longer you play it.
~ Bobby Jones

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
- John Updike

[tincup]

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
Tiger Woods

[Stan Nehilla]

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
- Lee Trevino

[tincup]

"I play golf in the low eighties," the old man was telling one of the youngsters at his club.

"Wow," said the young man, "that's pretty impressive."

"Not really," said the old man, "Any hotter and I'd probably have a stroke."

[Stan Nehilla]

The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it.
- Jack Burke

[tincup]

Rich Texans are fabled for their grand style but when one oil tycoon appeared at a local British golf course followed by a servant pulling a foamcushioned chaise-longue, his opponents thought that this was taking style too far.

"J. R., are you going to make that poor caddie lug that couch all over the course after you?" he was asked.

"Caddie, my eye," explained J. R. "That's my psychiatrist."

[Stan Nehilla]

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.
- Lee Trevino

[tincup]

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.
~ Lee Trevino

[Stan Nehilla]

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
- Ben Hogan