Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[tincup]

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
~ Bruce Lansky

[tincup]

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.
~ Sam Snead

[Stan Nehilla]

Fairway: [faer-wai]:An unfamiliar tract of closely mown grass running directly from tee to the green. Your ball can usually be found immediately to the left or right of it."

[Stan Nehilla]

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.

[tincup]

Three possible outcomes of club selection:
1. Its the right club, but you decide it's the wrong club
2. It's the right club, but you think it might be too little club so you try to kill it, or you think it might be too much club, so you quit on the shot
3. It's the wrong club

[Stan Nehilla]

If your typical round is 85 and you shot a 95, you've had what is called an "off game."
Wouldn't this be equally true if you shot a 75?

[tincup]

The reason it's so hard to par the course is half the shots are woods, half the shots are irons, and the third half is putts

[Stan Nehilla]

Forget about all those "how to" books, videos and articles. The only sure way to save strokes is with an eraser!

[tincup]

Watching from the Club house overlooking the 10 green, we saw a foursome approaching. Having marked their balls, suddenly one of the guys fell down and the three others started a fist fight.

The Golf Captain stormed out from the Club house to separate the fighting men.

"Why are you fighting?" he asked "You see," said one of them, "my partner had a stroke and died just now, and these buggers want to include it on the scorecard."

[Stan Nehilla]

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
- Will Rogers