Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Real golfers have two handicaps: one for braggin’ and one for bettin' .

[tincup]

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out

and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and

miss every green. The next day you go out and

for no reason at all you really stink.

[Stan Nehilla]

The difference between a whiff and a practice swing is that nobody curses after a practice swing.

[tincup]

The key to target golf is choosing a really, really big target

[Stan Nehilla]

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.
- Chi Chi Rodriguez

[tincup]

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
~ Bruce Lansky

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments.

[tincup]

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon (your milage may vary).

Kind of makes you proud. I almost feel like a hybrid

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
– Bob Hope

[tincup]

Never ask the pro if you need a new set of clubs