Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

When i first came out on the tour, I swung all out on every tee shot. My drives finished so far offline, my pants were grass-stained at the knees.
Fuzzy Zoeller

[tincup]

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain

[Stan Nehilla]

Real Golfers don't use naked-lady tees.
Anon

[tincup]

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
Paul Harvey

[Stan Nehilla]

As soon as a businessman takes up golf, he becomes an executive.
Anon

[Stan Nehilla]

A lot of guys who have never choked, have never been in the position to do so.
Tom Watson

[tincup]

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
Tiger Woods

[tincup]

He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.
Mickey Mantle

[Stan Nehilla]

The best way to get a man to dig in a garden would be to call it a sand trap.
Anon

[Stan Nehilla]

The only shots you can be dead sure of are those you've had already.
Byron Nelson