Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

'Play it as it lies' is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is 'Wear it if it clashes'.
~ Henry Beard

[Stan Nehilla]

My golf game's gone off so much that when I went fishing a couple of weeks ago my first cast missed the lake.
~ Ben Crenshaw

[Stan Nehilla]

There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.
~ Lee Trevino

[Stan Nehilla]

The older you get, the easier it is to shoot your age.
~ Jerry Barber

[Stan Nehilla]

May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
~ Ben Hogan

[Stan Nehilla]

That divot is so deep, I will need a sod cutter to fix it.
~ Brian Weis

[Stan Nehilla]

Bad Sausage and five bogeys will give you a stomach ache every time.
~ Miller Barber

[Stan Nehilla]

I was asked by a golfer how to lower his scores. I replied start playing 9 holes instead of 18. I worked for me, it cut my scores in half.
~ Brian Weis

[Stan Nehilla]

(When asked how the putt breaks) It breaks towards the center of the earth when it is above the hole.
~ Brian Weis

[Stan Nehilla]

The What If Golf Story

Golf Jokes What if you were playing in the club championship tournament finals and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes. You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin. Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep into the woods to the right of the fairway. Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you help your opponent look for his ball. Just before the permitted five minute search period ends, your opponent says: "Go ahead and hit your second shot and if I don't find it in time, I'll concede the match." You hit your ball, landing it on the green, stopping about ten feet from the pin. About the time your ball comes to rest, you hear your opponent exclaim from deep in the woods: "I found it!". The second sound you hear is a click, the sound of a club striking a ball and the ball comes sailing out of the woods and lands on the green, stopping no more than six inches from the hole. Now the real "what if" in this story......

What if you had your opponent's ball in your pocket?