Wit & Wisdom of Golf

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Rule exceptions for seniors

Frivolous Ball

If, after hitting an unsatisfactory tee shot, a player exercises his right to play a revisional ball (mulligan) and thereupon hits a plainly laughable shot or one that is de-monstrably and ludicrously inferior to the original flawed drive that gave rise to his desire to take a replay, he may, upon declaring his intention to abide by "The Rules of Golf and desist from further unserious play, pick up the frivolous ball (gilligan) and play his first ball without forfeiting any residual rights he may possess to the replay of another drive at some future point during the round.

[Stan Nehilla]

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
~ George Archer

[sandwedge]

I think there is some truth in that statement

[Stan Nehilla]

Don't play with anyone who would question a 7.

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To play golf you need goofy pants and a fat ass.
~ Happy Gilmore

[Stan Nehilla]

White Ball Poem

In my hand I hold a ball....white and dimpled, rather small....

Oh , how bland it does appear....this harmless looking little sphere....

By its size I could not guess....the awesome strength it does possess....

But since I fell beneath it's spell....I've wandered through the fires of hell..

My life has not been quite the same....Since I chose to play this stupid game....

It rules my mind for hours on end...A fortune it has made me spend....

It has made me swear and yell and cry....I hate myself and want to die....

It promises a thing called par....If I can hit straight and far ....

To master such a tiny ball....should not be very hard at all ...

But my desires the ball refuses....and does exactly like it chooses....

It hooks and slices, dribbles and dies....and even disappears before my eyes....

Often it will take a whim....to hit a tree or take a swim....

With miles of grass on which to land....it finds a tiny patch of sand....

Then has me offering up my soul....if only it would find the hole....

It's made me whimper like a pup....and swear that I will give it up....

And take a drink to ease my sorrow....but the ball knows..... I'll be back tomorrow!!!!


HAPPY NEW YEAR

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Golf carts always break down at the furthest point from the clubhouse.

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" Mildred, shut up," cried the golfer at his nagging wife. "Shut up or you'll drive me out of my mind."

"That," snapped Mildred, "that wouldn't be a drive. That would be a putt."

[Stan Nehilla]

I was recently playing a round of golf with a nice young fellow. On the first hole, which was a long par four with water to the right and a deep ravine to the left, the young man took out a brand new sleeve of balls, teed one up and immediately hit it into the water on the right. Undaunted, he pulled another ball from the sleeve and hit that one into the ravine, as well. Then he took the last ball from the sleeve and hit it, too, into the water. He then reached into his bag and pulled out another brand new sleeve of balls. "Why don't you hit an old ball?" I asked. He responded, "I've never had an old ball."

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I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
Gilbert K. Chesterton