Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

The most important inches in golf are not those between the ears: they are the ones between your ball and the hole on the fourth putt.

[Stan Nehilla]

The number of practice balls recovered is always less than the number hit.

[tincup]

Spike marks always deflect your ball away from the hole.

[Stan Nehilla]

The only available space in the car park is always furthest from the locker-room.

[tincup]

Rule exceptions for seniors

Ball Striking Flagstick

If a player's ball audibly or visibly strikes any part of a flagstick properly inserted into the cup on a green, and the ball was hit from anywhere off the putting surface with a club other than a putter, and in spite of having squarely struck the pin the ball fails to enter the hole, that player is deemed to have holed out on the next stroke if his ball has come to rest reasonably near the hole, or in two strokes if it has come to rest in the fringe or grass surrounding the green, or on the green but a considerable distance from the hole. He may, if he wishes, for purposes of practice or amusement, attempt to make a shot conceded to him without being subject to forfeiture of the concession in the event he fails to sink it, but if he elects to do so he must play first, even if other balls lie farther from the hole, so that his fellow players have the opportunity to gain useful information from their observation of his unnecessary chip or putt

[DC#1]

Where do you come up with these Darwin and Stan? They are hilarious and appreciated.

[Stan Nehilla]

The only downwind holes are par threes.

[tincup]

People who say a shank is close to a perfect shot have never had four in a row.

[Stan Nehilla]

The people in front of you are playing too slowly, the people behind you are playing too quickly.

[tincup]

No successive swings are ever the same except when you hit consecutive shots out of bounds.