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Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: October 24th, 2015, 4:32 am
by Stan Nehilla
'Play it as it lies' is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is 'Wear it if it clashes'.
~ Henry Beard

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: October 25th, 2015, 4:22 am
by Stan Nehilla
My golf game's gone off so much that when I went fishing a couple of weeks ago my first cast missed the lake.
~ Ben Crenshaw

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: October 26th, 2015, 4:59 am
by Stan Nehilla
There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.
~ Lee Trevino

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: October 27th, 2015, 4:09 am
by Stan Nehilla
The older you get, the easier it is to shoot your age.
~ Jerry Barber

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: October 28th, 2015, 4:27 am
by Stan Nehilla
May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
~ Ben Hogan

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: October 29th, 2015, 4:34 am
by Stan Nehilla
That divot is so deep, I will need a sod cutter to fix it.
~ Brian Weis

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: October 31st, 2015, 3:36 am
by Stan Nehilla
Bad Sausage and five bogeys will give you a stomach ache every time.
~ Miller Barber

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: November 2nd, 2015, 9:41 am
by Stan Nehilla
I was asked by a golfer how to lower his scores. I replied start playing 9 holes instead of 18. I worked for me, it cut my scores in half.
~ Brian Weis

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: November 3rd, 2015, 5:00 am
by Stan Nehilla
(When asked how the putt breaks) It breaks towards the center of the earth when it is above the hole.
~ Brian Weis

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: November 5th, 2015, 6:10 am
by Stan Nehilla
The What If Golf Story

Golf Jokes What if you were playing in the club championship tournament finals and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes. You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin. Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep into the woods to the right of the fairway. Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you help your opponent look for his ball. Just before the permitted five minute search period ends, your opponent says: "Go ahead and hit your second shot and if I don't find it in time, I'll concede the match." You hit your ball, landing it on the green, stopping about ten feet from the pin. About the time your ball comes to rest, you hear your opponent exclaim from deep in the woods: "I found it!". The second sound you hear is a click, the sound of a club striking a ball and the ball comes sailing out of the woods and lands on the green, stopping no more than six inches from the hole. Now the real "what if" in this story......

What if you had your opponent's ball in your pocket?