Golf Sim Clubhouse Forum

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. - George Deukmejian

A very angry golfer was on his way to carding a round of 150. He turned to his caddy and said', You must be the worst caddy in the world.'

'That would be too much of a coincidence, sir', answered the caddy in a quiet voice.

On the phone with a golf buddy who has asked him to play, a guy says: "I am the master of my home and can play golf whenever I want. But hold on a minute while I find out if I want to."

Q: Are you a scratch player?
A: I sure am - every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where it went.

How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?

FORE !

I once played a golf course that was so difficult I lost two balls in the ball washer!

Q: You made a 12 on a par-3? How in the world did you manage that?
A: I chipped in from the fringe.

Golfer: Hey caddie, would you wade into that pond and see if you can find my ball?
Caddie: Why?
Golfer: It's my lucky ball.

“The most important shot in golf is the next one.” – Ben Hogan

“The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.” – Mickey Mantle