Golf Sim Clubhouse Forum

LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Conversely, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and a tax agent -- or some similar combination.

If you're the only one who improves your lie, it's cheating; if you all improve your lies, it's a reasonable allowance for unfair playing conditions

LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

Never play anyone for money who carries a 1-iron, has a tattoo, doesn't wear a glove, and can bounce a ball off the face of a sand wedge more than ten times in a row

LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water.

Anything that can go wrong will wait to go wrong until after you leave the practice tee.

If you address the ball for more than twenty seconds its not a waggle, it's a seizure.

LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

Tennis would be as difficult as golf if you only got one serve, six love was par, you had to wait ten minutes between points, you often lost a dozen balls in a single set and every now and then you needed to hit a backhand out of a tree.

LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."